I am embarrassed that today was the first time I explored the story of Amber Cole, a 14-year-old girl who was recorded while participating in a sexual act in a Baltimore high school. The “Official Amber Cole Video” has now gone viral and a twitter search of the teen’s name yields some of the most deplorable statements I have ever read. Period.
After reading Jeff Fecke’s fearless critique of Jimi Izrael’s article, in which Izrael pretended to be Amber Cole’s Father, I agree with Fecke that we should vocally defend Cole and use this case as an opportunity to discuss a wide range of issues, including how African American women who are sexually active are often viewed differently than their white counterparts. However, I disagree with Fecke when he writes:
If you were really Amber’s father, the first thing you’d have written would be names — three names, to be specific. Yes, they’re minors, but so’s your daughter, and the whole world knows her name now. I’d be screaming the names of the boys who violated her. Telling them to anyone who would listen. I’d tell people this should be the called Adam, Billy and Chuck video. Wasn’t Adam a partner in the sex act? Wasn’t Billy watching? Didn’t Chuck hold the camera? Why aren’t they getting attacked?
Although it is likely that Fecke’s statement was written simply to illustrate how unjustly girls are viewed and treated during these types of incidents, I do believe this “eye for an eye” perspective is unhealthy, even if the intent of this specific illustration was not for literal interpretation.
The boys who participated in this act are also children who should not have their human rights violated by dragging their names through the same mud as Amber’s. Instead, they should be taught why their behavior is wrong, why it is ‘okay’ for child pornography to be circulated as entertainment in our world, and why society is so twisted that an internet search for Amber Cole’s name yields an “Official” video when the only thing official about the video is that consumers who “know better” are OFFICIAL FREAKING IDIOTS WHO DESERVE OFFICIAL CHILD PORNOGRAPHY CHARGES AND OFFICIAL TIME IN JAIL.
As a researcher who studies the prevention of the commercial sexual exploitation of children (CSEC) and a school psychologist who often uncovers physical, emotional, or sexual abuse in boys who are dismissed as “bad” or “delinquents”, I hope the boys involved in this case will receive the much needed mental health assessment and, if necessary, services to address their needs.
It is a fact that no one has been hurt as much as Amber in this situation. And let me be clear that I am by no means defending the act, or saying that the young men involved in this case do not deserve to suffer consequences for their actions. However, we cannot forget to examine and address the root causes of the boys’ behavior, which could be partially to blame for Amber’s victimization.
lol its her fault for giving somone a blow job outside a friggin school were plenty of people could have seen, its called be less stupid and more careful about where you suck people
Is this considered a blog? Or a debate? Or?… Educate me. I’m new to this whole internet thing….seems cool enough.
It’s whatever you want it to be! Welcome!
AMBER COLE WAS STUPID ASS HELL FOR DOING THAT I MEAN L;IKE THIS SHIT MADE IT TO MIAMI ALL READY LIKE OMG WTF WAS SHE THINKING AND THOSE BOYS WAS WRONG BUT THEY GIOT THEY DICK SUCKED
Your comments illustrate what is wrong with society…blaming the victim. Educate yourself.
All i can say is the girl isnt stupid. She knew what she was doing, and she wasnt forced to suck that dick, she did it on her own. I DO NOT agree with the fact that the video was leaked by the boys. The boys are wrong, but so is she for not taking any responsibility. It’s HER fault for doing it on school property, and letting it be video taped, and she was wrong by sucking his dick in the first place. Its the boys fault that they leaked it. SHE CHOSE TO SUCK THAT DICK, AND TO BE ON VIDEO. where the FUCK is her responsibility. You MF’s wanna talk about being the victim, theres nt a gun to her head, she aint stupid. Wheres the equality at?? there ALL responsible, including AMBER COLE>
wow amber cole is sad for doing that crap . WOW DUDE ! -
Awwww, how sad. You missed the point. Even sadder.
Totally dig disagreement…in fact, I love it…and your points. However, in my opinion, due to the societal views of sexuality “calling out the names of these boys” still won’t accomplish the goals that you would hope to attain. My point is very simple. They are children. Yes, ‘men’ are given blatant right to their sexuality and the performance of it with no consequences; but again, these are children who need to be educated, along with the masses. We must address societal views through raising awareness, which includes yelling from the mountain tops in this case and others that the actions of these boys were WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I strategically named this piece what I named it because I knew it would draw people who were trying to see the video. I believe helping a few people question their attitudes toward sexuality, child pornography, the importance of addressing the root causes of the behavior of all parties involved (e.g., abuse, low self-esteem, etc.), and so forth through forums like this one and similar initiatives to raise awareness will be more effective than simply calling the names of these boys. I HATE it that this case will affect AC throughout her lifespan far more than the boys. I HATE that AC had so many of her rights violated. I just think calling their names, etc. is counterproductive and will do very little to address societal attitudes.
This is the only time I’ve disagreed with the author since I became one of her full fledged stans. You do call out the names of these boys. Men are given blatant right to their sexuality and the performance of it with NO CONSEQUENCES. Keeping these boys out of the media doesn’t express to other young men, what these boys did was wrong. It doesn’t speak to conveying a young woman was violated will continue to be viewed negatively as long as this sad story has legs. The video will never die. These boys will be able to put this moment behind them in ways Amber Cole cannot.